Travelling story #165.
One reason why gap annihilation is a pursuit at the core of my being is because of the gap at the core of my being. This gap is situated roughly where my stomach is. Annihilating this gap can be difficult at times. No matter how much stuff I ingest to fill this gap, it just keeps coming back for more.
This can be tricky when you are travelling, as airlines don't always apprecate the rigorous training processes involved in gap annihilation and the hunger this brings, or the carbo-loading phases associated with the body going into recovery mode. Given that on long flights your body is always going to go into recovery mode (they don't let you take your campus board or the biohazard boulder on the plane) you're going to get damn hungry on the plane.
How is the devoted gap annihilator to overcome this most threatening of gaps? Here is one way... After queueing at Heathrow airport for three and a half hours and missing lunch I eventually made it onto a plane bound for LA with quite a hunger. Luckily I had booked a freakatarian meal which I knew would come earlier than the proletariat meal cart. As soon as the flight attendants had done their strange safety dance and we were cruising at ten thousand feet along came my meal. I transferred this to the gap within but woe, it was not enough! Then came the spark of inspiration. The seat next to me was unoccupied... the meal cart was yet to come...
With the aid of a trusty blanket I was able to invent a cloaking device by which to render my used and abused meal tray invisible. So when the meal cart came by and the attendent was greeted with my emaciated visage and a lowered and eager tray table they asked "Chicken or Lamb?" to which I heartily replied "Lamb, please". Thus I was able to gain a double-dose of gap-filling nutritional goodness. Take that recovery mode!
This did, however, present some difficulty for the meal tray evacuation procedures. I quickly arranged the seat next to me to look sat in and temporarily vacated. A movie was started and paused in mid play, a blanket was tossed aside, seatbelt was left asplayed and unhitched, tray table down, meal eaten. When the rubbish cart came I merely handed mine across and then graciously also supplied the tray of my vacant neighbour. I did get some funny looks from the people across the aisle though... But henceforth, if you have any empty seat in the vicinity and wish to annihilate the most serious gap of all, you know what to do.
Travelling presents many gap difficulties, be well prepared! Always carry at least a weeks cereal with you just in case, see photo for suggested quantities.
